miss being loved

 Perth, 10 October 2021

Feeling not good at the moment. Sore body, mind, and feeling. I think is not about my body, but its about my thought. Absolutely. I'm feeling sad, lonely, exausted, miss all of people around me, miss being loved. I think thats really matters for me right now. I didn't feel being loved from anyone in my life at this moment. I think I'm lonely. And I think I miss being loved.

Note: I don't want to tell long story about this, but, this is my first time to went to Phsychologist. It was really help for me at the moment.

@Banksia Cafe

why i must be productive everyday

 Perth, 10 October 2021

I always finding myself everyday. When I wake up every morning, even on my days off, I can't wake up late. I always "automaticaly" wake up early. Because wake up late makes me feel sore and useless, lazy, and its not what life is for. I always feel that I have to do something productive, every day. Even I am not working, I should do something useful. But I think I have 7 days work, which is when I am not working for someone else, I have to work for myself. To Grow and develop.

So, why I must be productive every day? I don't know. Its just come up from my inner body and mind. Maybe because I living more alive in this life...

Alhamdulillah, after 2-3 weeks I've been through so many bad things in my mind. It's been overwhelmed and tired either inside or outside. Physically and mentally. But now, I feeling better. I have my energy back. Which is really good, because If my energy full of glass, then I can give energy and fill up other people glass.

@Green Bunch Cafe

i got pressure on me

Perth, 1 October 2021

In the middle of confused, thats my feeling right now. I miss home. I give myself high pressure to have done with my little business, my work, and everything that I wanted to be done. I don't know why and I don't know actually where I wanted to go. There is no one who asked me to get done everything faster, or give expectations, or anything like that. Its just me to my self. 

Me and myself seems like fighting inside of my body, mind and feelings. I always wanted to myself to be "useful" person, especially for all the people around me. I think that if I feel empty, it would be hard to fill them. But actually, what all I need is, fill myself first, than anyone. I'm trying. Always trying.

@SoHo Lane